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"The Phil Collins World Tour Itinerary 2001"
See?
(or a list of very rude place names)
What happens when bored morons get hold of a geographical database? This. One afternoon myself and a bunch of friends produced this reasonably complete list of rude place names, ranging from the innocuous innuendo straight through to words that... err. They're just words, dammit. It may amuse you for upwards of three seconds. It's so puerile it deserves its own series on E4.

Of course this is of no worth, a complete waste of time, and I should go straight to detention. Having said that I'll bet it'll be reproduced verbatim in every slack-arsed publication in the land. Even the bloody Guardian.

  • Anus, Batangas, Philippines
  • Anus, Irian Jaya, Indonesia
  • Anus, Laguna, Philippines
  • (Cascade d') Arse, Pyrinees, France [website : "An impetuous and vigorous river of Arse"]
  • Arsoli, Lazio, Italy
  • Bald Knob, Arkansas, United States [map]
  • Balls Cross, West Sussex, United Kingdom [map]
  • Beaver, Oklahoma, United States
  • Beaver, West Virginia, United States [website: Beaver data (temperature/humidity)]
  • Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, United States
  • Beaver Head, Idaho, United States
  • Bell End, Worcestershire, United Kingdom [map]
  • Big Beaver, Pennsylvania, United States
  • Bollock, Sultan Kudarat, Philippines
  • Bonar Bridge, Scotland, United Kingdom [map]
  • Bottom, Netherlands Antilles, Netherlands Antilles
  • Bottom, Surry, North Carolina, United States
  • Brown Willy, Cornwall, United Kingdom
  • BUM, Bates, Missouri, United States
  • Buger, Majorca, Spain [map]
  • Bum, Kutkashen, Azerbaijan
  • Bum, Southern, Sierra Leone
  • Bumbang, Victoria, Australia
  • Chinaman's Knob, Australia
  • Clam, Accomack, Virginia, United States
  • Clam, Charente-Maritime, Poitou-Charentes, France
  • Climax, Colorado, United States
  • Climax, Polk County, Minnesota, United States
  • Climax, Saskatchewan, Canada [Climax Directory]
  • Clit, Arad, Romania
  • Clit, Salja, Romania
  • Clit, Suceava, Romania
  • Conception Bay, Newfoundland
  • The Cock Of Arran, Scotland, United Kingdom [Cycle route round the cock]
  • Cock Bridge, Aberdeen, Scotland, United Kingdom [map]
  • Cockermouth, North (Cumbria, Allerdale), United Kingdom
  • Cocks, Perranporth, Cornwall, United Kingdom
  • Condom, Aveyron, Midi-Pyrénées, France
  • Crap, Tirane, Albania
  • Craponne sur Arzon, France
  • Crotch Lake, Ontario, Canada
  • Cuckoo's Knob, Wiltshire, UK
  • Cum, Wanderlandia, Tocantins, Brazil
  • Cum, Zelaya, Nicaragua
  • Cumbum, Andhra Pradesh, India [Map]
  • Cumming, Georgia, United States [t-shirt]
  • Cunt, Elazig, Turkey
  • Cunt, Spain
  • Cunter, Switzerland
  • Dick, Weld County, Colorado, United States
  • Dick, Chippewa County, Michigan, United States
  • Dick, Westmoreland County, Pennsylvania, United States
  • Dikshit, India
  • Dildo, Trinity Bay, Newfoundland [website]
  • Dong, CHUXIONG, Yunan, China
  • Dong, Khon Kaen, Thailand
  • Dong, Lohit, Arunachal Pradesh, India
  • Dong Rack, Thailand/Cambodia Border
  • Dongo, Democratic Republic of Congo
  • Dripsey, County Cork, Republic of Ireland
  • Dump, Manchester, Jamaica
  • Dyke, Inverness, Scotland, UK
  • Effin, Limerick, Republic of Ireland [Effin National School]
  • Erect, Randolph County, North Carolina, United States [map]
  • Fanny, West Virginia (Wyoming), United States
  • Fanny Hill and Fanny Burn, Scotland, United Kingdom [map]
  • Feces de Abaixo (Lower Feces), Galiza, Spain [photo]
  • Felch, Michigan (Dickinson), United States
  • Felchville, Vermont, United States
  • Felchville, MA, United States
  • Fertile, Polk County, Minnesota, United State
  • Finger, Cabarrus, North Carolina, United States
  • Finger, McNairy, Tennessee, United States
  • French Lick, Indiana, United States
  • Fruitdale, South Dakota, United States
  • Fist, Lezhe, Albania
  • Fjuckby, Sweden [news: Fjuckby residents demand rebranding]
  • Fucking, Tarsdorf, Austria [map] [news article]
  • Fuku, Shensi, China
  • Fukue, Honshu, Japan
  • Fukem, Honshu, Japan
  • Gash, Hormozgan, Iran
  • Gash, Khorasan, Iran
  • Gaylord, Michigan, United States [web - "Gaylord... Naturally!"]
  • Gayville, South Dakota, United States
  • Gisum, Yobe, Nigeria
  • Gland, Switzerland [wikipedia entry]
  • Hole, Tayside, Scotland, United Kingdom
  • Hooker, Oklahoma
  • Horn, Horn, Niederosterreich, Austria
  • Horn, Nordur-Isafjardarsysla, Iceland
  • Horn, Brønnøy, Nordland, Norway
  • Horneytown, North Carolina, USA
  • Humptulips, Washington, USA [link]
  • Intercourse, Dutch County, Pennsylvania, USA
  • Knoblick, Arizona, USA
  • Kunt, Punjab, Pakistan
  • Labia, Waremme, Liege, Belgium
  • Lickham Bottom, Hemyock, Cullompton, United Kingdom
  • Lickey End, West Midlands, United Kingdom
  • Little Dix Village, West Indies
  • Lord Berkeley's Knob, Sutherland, Scotland
  • Lord Hereford's Knob, Wales, United Kingdom [link]
  • Meat Camp, North Carolina, United States
  • Meat Cove, Nova Scotia, Canada
  • Mianus, Conneticut, United States
  • Middle Intercourse Island, Australia
  • Minge, Nivelles, Brabant wallon, Belgium
  • Minge, Nord-Est, Haiti
  • Minge, Silutes Rajonas, Lithuania
  • Minge Cove, New Hampshire, United States [map]
  • Moist, Kachin, Myanmar
  • Moorhead, Clay County, Minnesota, United States
  • Muff, Northern Ireland
  • Muff, Armstrong, Pennsylvania, United States
  • Muff, Kilderry, Donegal, Ireland
  • Nobber, Donegal, Ireland
  • Nob End, Bolton, United Kingdom [map]
  • Nork, Masis Shrjan, Yerevan
  • Oberfucking, Austria [map]
  • Pee, Margibi, Liberia
  • Penistone, South Yorkshire, Great Britain [map]
  • Phuket, Phuket, Thailand
  • Pee Pee Township, Pike County, Ohio USA [wikipedia] - home of Pee Pee Creek
  • Pis, Asturias, Principado de Asturias, Spain
  • Pis, Gers, Midi-Pyrn&cute;eacute;es, France
  • Pis Pis River, Nicagragua
  • Poke, Northern, Uganda
  • Poo, Asturias, Principado de Asturias, Spain
  • Poo, Himachal, India
  • Probe, Utah (Salt Lake), Salt lake City
  • Puke, Albania
  • Pussy, Savoie, Rhône-Alpes, France [website (en Français)]
  • Reddick, Florida, United States
  • Rim, Guera, Chad
  • Rim, Misrak Gojam, Ethiopia
  • Rim, Nan, Thailand
  • Ring, Ringville, Waterford, Ireland
  • Ring, Umatilla, Oregon, United States
  • Ring, Winnebago, Wisconsin, United States
  • Sac City, Iowa, United States
  • Semen, Jawa Timur, Indonesia
  • Semen, Moldova, Moldova, Republic Of
  • Semen, Sofiya, Bulgaria
  • Sexmoan, Luzon, Phillipines
  • Seymen, Turkey
  • Shaft, Pennsylvania, United States
  • Shafter, California, United States
  • Shagg, Kurdufan, Sudan
  • Shag Island, Indian Ocean
  • Shag Point, South of Moeraki, South Island, New Zealand
  • Shit, Debub Gonder, Ethiopia
  • Shit, Mazandaran, Iran
  • Shit, Zanjan, Iran
  • Shitagoo Lake, Quebec, Canada
  • Shitlingthorpe, Yorkshire, United Kingdom
  • Slut, Vasterbotten, Sweden
  • Spear, Avery, North Carolina, United States
  • Spear, Big Horn, Montana, United States
  • Spear, Prairie, Arkansas, United States
  • Spurt, Oost-Vlanderen (Dendermonde, Hamme), Belgium
  • Stiff, Bretagne (Finistere, Ouessant), France
  • Sugar Tit, South Carolina, United States
  • Swallow, Salt Lake, Utah, United States
  • Tampon, Reunion, Reunion
  • The Bastard, Argyll & Bute, Scotland [map]
  • Three Cocks, Wales, United Kingdom [map]
  • Thong, Essex, UK[map]
  • Tit, Adrar, Algeria
  • Tit, Tamanghasset, Algeria
  • Tit, Vorkuta, Komi, Russia
  • Tittybong, Australia
  • Tös, Freudenstadt, Baden-Wurttemberg, Germany
  • Tos, Konakovsky, Twer', Russia
  • Tong Fuk, South Lantau, Hong Kong [Ma Po Ping Prison and Tong Fuk Centre]
  • Turdo, Romania
  • Twathats, Scotland, United Kingdom [map]
  • Twatt, Orkney, Scotland, United Kingdom[map]
  • Twatt, Shetland, Scotland, United Kingdom[map]
  • Urin, West New Britain, Papua New Guinea
  • Vagina, Kurgan (Belozersky), Russia
  • Virgin Arm, Newfoundland, Canada
  • Virginville, Pennsylvania, United States
  • Wangquing, China
  • Wank, Garmisch-Partenkirchen, Germany [Ol's Wank Photos] [Wank - Live Camera!] (live cam shows the Wankbahn cable car) [Directions to Wank]
  • Wank, Bayern (Ostallgäu, Nesselwang), Germany
  • Wankers Corner, Oregan, USA
  • Wankie, Zimbabwe
  • Wanks River, Nicaragua
  • Wankum, Germany
  • Weedon, Northamptonshire, United Kingdom
  • Wet Beaver Creek, Australia
  • Woody, Cumberland, Tennessee, United States
  • Woody, Greene, Illinois, United States
  • Woody, Kern, California, United States

by Me, Simon, Piers and some other morons.

Like ying to yang, egg to chips and bacon to butty there is a site dedicated to rude food names at http://www.dazbert.co.uk/rudefood. It's got pictures! I like pictures!


Postfix

Oddly, as if commanded by some godly presence (i.e. myself) the Guardian went and featured this fetid little hole on the internet. Here's a scan of it. See? Goading national newspapers works! (but only if the material you're trying to get featured includes words like "Tampon" and "Woody"). Max Clifford eat that blackened fetid rotten piece of ex-flesh you call your heart out.

A month later and an article bearing a striking resemblence to The Guardian piece turns up in Ireland's Hot Press, written by Stuart Clark. Tosin Sulalman wrote the Guardian article. Author's alia? Syndication? Copying? Happy co-incidence? You decide!

There have also been a few new submissions, my favourite being Hooker, Oklahoma, USA who have their own website where you can read about the wonderful Hooker School, The Hooker Bank and the winner of the much vaunted "Miss Hooker" beauty contest. As if that weren't enough for one area, "The Beaver River Genealogical and Historical Society" meet there on the second Thursday of the month except for June and July.

JH mailed us some time ago with: "After seeing your page, I was moved to take off my husband's t-shirt and scan it for you. We live in Georgia, near Cumming, in fact, and he found the shirt in a thrift store years ago. I've always thought that 'Bank of Cumming' sounded like the inappropriate name of a naughty sperm donation place and i refuse to let him wear it out". Thanks Julia, and here's the t-shirt :



xargle@eh.org
Last modified on: Sun Sep 5 10:35:03 2010
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